I'm having a parenting dilemma. Since I had Jacob 3 years ago I had in my mind a whole list of things that I would never do, or make sure to do. That list has been edited so much I just threw it away...I didn't know anything then and I still don't!! I have been wanting some suggestions on what to do when your kids wants something, like a toy. I don't just want to give him everything he wants, just because. I'm not quite sure how to go about letting him earn it.
Last week Jacob spent his own money on a little toy fire-engine. He was so excited to have enough money, but it took almost all of his money. Now he thinks he wants to buy another toy, but he doesn't' have enough money. What do I do? I don't want him to think he can't ever have it...it's only like $6. Do I pay him for jobs? I don't want him to always expect pay when he does something around the house. Do I make him earn it some other way? When do you start teaching about money managing? We have already had the tithing talk and he is okay with that concept.
I'm not quite sure which path to take. Do I make him save the money, or just earn it through good behavior? I'm not quite sure how to do this.
Any advice you have will be greatly appreciated !! Thanks.
Friday, September 12, 2008
I need your advice...
Posted by RoseAnna at 11:03 AM
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7 comments:
I would think about the skills that you have that have helped you manage your money. Sometimes that means waiting to get something, or deciding that you would rather pass on one thing to have another. These aren't easy to teach, and yet, I would guess that if parents taught these lessons earlier, there would be a lot less trouble in this world. I am going through the same thing here too, my girls always want something right away, but they are starting to understand that it doesn't always work that way, and some times we just don't get everything we want. It's hard b/c I am tempted to just get them things they want, but I usually try to stop and think about what I am teaching them, and then make my decision. I have no idea if that makes any sense! I think we need to realize that in a week, month or year, that toy won't even matter to them, but if they learned how to say no, or how to wait, then they have something of real value. About the chore thing, I have things that they are expected to do like clear their dishes or make their bed. We haven't really entered the realm of earning yet, I'm a little puzzled on that one too!
I have no advice to give you miss. Sorry! I haven't tackled that whole parenting thing yet, but im sure you are doing just fine! I absolutely love your header picture!!! What a cute family!
My only input: Jacobn is still young enough that if you're rewarding good behavior it needs to be sooner than "if you're good this whole week..." so, if you do use the good behavior, as opposed to $$ you could give him tickets, points, coupons, something of that nature. Tell him that when he gets so many he can get the toy and be very clear about when and what he has to do to get the toy. Be more specific than "if you're good" Examples: Turn off the TV the first time I ask, brush your teeth before bed without being reminded (or the 1st time asked, etc). (Sorry this is getting really long). But, you should make sure you're really clear. Even brush your teeth before bed will get pushed because he has to do it. So, if you have to ask 5 times and then he throws a fit before he brushes his teeth he has still done what you've asked unless you clarify that he has to do it on his own. And, (last thing, I promise) because of his age, I would only pick one behavior for him to work on and make sure you give him the 'whatever' as soon as he accomplishes what you're expecting of him.
Rosie, When my kids need extra money to buy something they really want (parker right now is earning a PSP...just wait the price of things goes up!), Brent and I give the boys oppurtunities to EARN the item. We have them do extra things beyond what they normally do, and they EARN reward points towards that goal. We make a poster with a thermometer and a pic of what they want, each time they earn a point we let them color a little bit of the thermometer. It works really well and it seems to keep them working for the big goal..not just anothr toy. we started this after Corbin had earned 25$ to buy a game he wanted and he blew it on a stuffed animal. The points are easy to see, but they get what they Really want in the end. I hope this helps!!
I agree with everyone else. Use something like a chore chart where he can put stickers on and see his progress. Becca is right about being specific and giving him a goal. I am working on this concept with Jack right now b/c everytime we go to the store he wants to pick out birthday presents. Maybe Jacob isn't that into stickers but Jack would be motivated by the idea of being able to put a sticker up everytime he picked up his toys by himself, brushed his teeth without fighting, etc. Good luck and let me know what the right answer is!!!
I understand what you mean, I have wondered the same thing. I am struggling with rewards and not letting my daughter always expect something tangible. My stake offered a parenting resource class which had a lot of great info and good ideas, but I guess I am not the best at applying it. You can look at it at www.providentliving.org "Strengthening the Family: Resource Guide for Parents"
Katie
Macie is almost 4 but we haven't really done anything with money yet. Anytime she wants something, I either say, "that will be a good thing to ask for your birthday (or Christmas)" and then she forgets about it later (ha ha) or I say, "well let's make a chart and you can earn it." We do a Cheerful Chart, or a Nice Chart, and we used to do Potty Charts. She has about 10 or 12 spots she has to fill up in doing good things, and then she can earn what she saw at the store.
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